You Don't Need a Calmer Life You Need Better Problems

In this wisdom talk, we are going to understand three important things. First, why your mind creates problems when life is peaceful. Second, why boredom and restlessness arise. Third, how to live peacefully without trying to eliminate every problem. By the end of this speech, you will have some understanding of why your mind behaves this way and how to stop turning peaceful moments into unnecessary struggle.

You see, the mind is a hunter. Take away the prey, and it does not rest. It hunts for itself. It hunts for its own shadow. Think about this for a moment. Have you ever had a perfectly good day with nothing going wrong, and suddenly you found yourself worrying about something? Maybe you worry about what God will be thinking of you, or what the devil will be thinking of you, and so on and so on. Maybe you remembered an embarrassing conversation from years ago that just doesn't make sense. Or maybe you started worrying about your money, your future, your relationships, or something that has not even happened yet. We all have been there, right? Nothing was wrong with the present moment, but your mind found something to worry about anyway, like an idiot.

Why does this happen? You see, peace was never the mind's job. Think about what your mind actually does throughout the day. It solves problems. It also solves the neighbor's problems. You wake up and think about what you need to do, right? You go to work and deal with responsibilities. You make decisions, avoid mistakes, prepare for the future, and try to protect yourself from unpleasant situations. Everybody's mind works in this way. Your mind is constantly looking for something that needs attention. And there is a reason for this. Human beings survived because they learned to notice danger, find food, and prepare for what might happen next. Even all our ancestors behaved like this, including all the creatures in this world which have life in them. Life constantly wants to sustain itself and not die. It constantly looks for threats also. The mind becomes good at detecting problems.

But here comes the catch. A mind that constantly searches for problems does not automatically stop searching when life becomes peaceful. That is the whole problem. An idle mind is a workshop with no wood, and so it begins to saw the table. Whatever is there, it starts chewing it. That's the problem with the mind. You can see this in everyday life. Normal thing you'll be doing, and this happens, right? When you are busy, you might complain that you have no time to relax. But when you finally get a free evening, you cannot relax either. You pick up your phone, scroll through social media, remember something unpleasant, and start worrying about tomorrow. Right? We all do this like an idiot, guy. You wanted peace, but when peace arrived, you started looking for something else. Have you noticed this? The mind needs a problem. And if you do not give it one, it will make one. Even spiritual people are not happy. They constantly create more problems. They think, "I need one more guru. I need one more technique. I need one more retreat. I need one more meditation. I need this, so on and so on and so on. Or I need one more book," and things like that.

So let us understand why this happens and what we can actually do about it. First, your mind is constantly looking for what might go wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. This is how the mind is built. Please do not think to yourself that "I'm thinking negative things," and so on and so on. You know, my mom is like that. If I tell her this could possibly happen, she immediately says, "Don't talk negative. You must not talk negative at all. Only good things, only positive." How does things work? You must also see what other possibilities are. You're not thinking negative. You are just using your brain. That's how it is. So your mind constantly is looking for what might go wrong. Imagine a security guard whose entire job is to look for danger. If somebody approaches the building, he checks them, right? He hears a strange sound, he investigates it. That is his job. But what happens when nothing unusual happens for several hours? He might begin paying attention to things that do not matter. A moving branch looks suspicious. No, this is true. Even people, when their life is going peaceful, they think something is going wrong or is going to happen. That's the pathetic mind that we are all having.

So what happens to the security guard? An ordinary noise sounds dangerous. Something harmless suddenly becomes a possible threat for him. So a watchman with nothing to watch will start to see thieves in the trees. Our minds can behave in much the same way. Really, when life becomes quiet, the mind still wants something to investigate. It searches through memories, examines your conversations, and imagines different futures, and so on and so on. Even spiritual people are like that. They interpret so many things just to become intellectual. They all don't practice. If people actually practiced Bhagavad Gita, the world would be different by now. But are we really doing it? No. We just want to debate which God is greater: Krishna is greater, Rama is greater, or Jesus is greater, or that fellow is great, this fellow is great. We never want to put effort. Let me tell you something. Those who really put effort do not argue about the messenger. Those who do not put effort argue about the messenger. And those who do not put effort get angry when the messenger is condemned or scolded.

So let us come to the point. Perhaps someone replied to your message with fewer words than usual. What happens? The mind immediately starts to think stupid stuff. Or yesterday you would not have cared, but today, because you have nothing else to think about, you start wondering whether they are angry with you because of the text. Nothing has necessarily changed in that relationship. What has changed is the amount of attention you are giving to the situation. You see, the problem is not always what happened. Sometimes the problem is that your mind has too much time to investigate what happened. It's as simple as that.

You see, the second thing is: calm can feel uncomfortable because we become used to being busy. Think about someone who has worked for 30 years. Every morning there is somewhere to go, something to finish, and somebody expecting something from him—maybe their wife, their husband, and so on and so on. Their entire day has a structure, a ridiculous structure. They know what to do when they wake up, like an automatic robot. Then retirement comes. Suddenly there are no meetings to attend, no deadlines to meet, and nobody asking them to finish something before evening. You might think they would feel completely free, but no. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they feel lost. I know so many people whose life is literally gold. Many people would wish that they lived like them, but they say they are not happy. Why? Because they have spent years identifying themselves through what they do. When the activity disappears, they do not immediately know how to live without it. The hand that has held a burden long will feel empty when it is free.

We experience something similar even on a smaller scale. You spend an entire week wishing for the weekend. Then Sunday arrives, and instead of enjoying yourself, you feel restless. You start thinking about Monday. You search for entertainment—what this fellow said, that fellow said, this idiot said, that idiot said—and things like that. You feel that something is missing. But perhaps nothing is missing. Perhaps you have simply become so familiar with effort that you no longer know how to experience a quiet, ordinary afternoon or an evening, or how to sit and simply drink your tea. We all have become pathetic human beings. She's agreeing to it. You have learned to work. You have learned how to worry. But have you learned how to rest? Nobody teaches us that.

And the third problem is that the mind likes problems because problems give it direction. When you have a problem, you know what to do. If your phone breaks, you repair it. If you have an examination, you study. If you need money, you look for ways to earn it. There's a clear situation, and you have something to work towards, right? But what happens when everything is reasonably fine? There is no urgent task. Nobody needs your help. Nothing requires immediate attention. What happens? You're simply sitting in your room enjoying an ordinary evening. That's what many people think. But that has not happened for many people. That is surprisingly difficult. Really difficult. You see, freedom without a task is a road with no end. And most travelers prefer a destination.

Notice how often we create all these things. How often we create goals, even when we do not particularly need them. We compare our lives with other people's lives. We see someone buying a house, traveling abroad, or building a successful career, and suddenly our own life seems incomplete. Right? We all have been there. We start comparing. Yesterday we were happy with what we had. Today somebody else's achievement has given us another problem to solve. This is how a peaceful life becomes a permanent project. There's always something to improve, something to acquire, something to prove. Even spiritual people are like that. Don't think spiritual people are happy. In fact, they are one of the saddest people on earth. There are a lot of spiritual people who complain so many things. Oh, that's another topic for another time.

You see, of course, having goals is not wrong. I'm not saying be an idiot. The problem begins when we cannot feel comfortable unless we are pursuing something. You do not have to turn every peaceful moment into another opportunity to become better. Don't be an idiot.

Fourth thing is: boredom is often misunderstood. People say they are bored when they have nothing to do. But look at what happens when you give them a phone. Suddenly they can spend 2 hours watching videos, reading comments, checking other people's lives, and jumping from one piece of information to another. They were not necessarily looking for meaningful activity. They were looking for stimulation. Boredom is not the absence of activity. It is the absence of meaning. Keep that in your mind. You can be busy all day and still feel empty. You can watch hundreds of videos and remember almost nothing. You can spend hours talking to people and still feel that the day meant very little. The mind does not merely want movement. It wants something worth engaging with. When it cannot find that, it may choose whatever is available, like gossip and so on and so on. Gossip becomes entertainment. Arguments become excitement. Other people's mistakes become something to discuss. Old disappointments become something to repeat, or stories to repeat, and things like that. Sometimes people even start arguments with those they love because ordinary peace feels unfamiliar. The argument gives them something immediate to focus on, right? They create unnecessary pain.

So the question is not—simply, sorry—the question is not simply how to keep yourself busy. It is how to give your attention to something worthwhile. You see, we need to understand the difference between choosing a problem and being controlled by one. Life will always contain difficulties. You cannot remove every challenge, and you do not need to. Learning a skill is difficult. Building a career takes effort. Maintaining a relationship requires patience. Looking after your body requires discipline. All that is fine. But these difficulties can give your life direction. Choose your own difficulty, or difficulty will choose you.

Imagine two people. One spends the evening worrying about whether people respect him. He checks messages, studies people's reactions, and keeps replying to conversations in his head. By bedtime, he's exhausted. Everybody's exhausted, but nothing has been resolved. The other spends the evening learning a language or playing piano, like me, spending time with musical instruments. He struggles with unfamiliar words, makes mistakes too, and has to concentrate. His task is difficult too. But the difficulty takes him somewhere. Both minds are working. Both encounter frustration. But one is trapped in a circle, while the other is making progress. A mind with good work has no time for bad thoughts. This does not mean that productive people never experience painful thoughts. They do. Nor does it mean that every problem can be solved by staying busy. Sometimes—you see—sometimes we genuinely need to face grief, fear, or difficult personal situations. The point is simpler. Give your mind something meaningful to work with instead of allowing every passing worry to become the center of your life.

You see, understand that calm is something you can practice. Many people believe they will finally feel peaceful when their circumstances improve, settle their family problems, and achieve their goals, and so on and so on. They imagine that their mind will become quiet. But life rarely stays organized for long. One problem disappears and another appears. You finish one responsibility and three more arrive. If your peace depends entirely on having no problems, you will spend your life waiting for a situation that never lasts. You can begin differently. When a thought appears, notice it before reacting to it. Suppose you suddenly think, "What if everything goes wrong tomorrow?" There's nothing wrong with the thought. You do not have to spend the next hour answering the question. You do not have to imagine 10 disasters and prepare for every possible outcome. You can recognize the thought that has appeared without treating it as an instruction. A thought is a visitor, not a landlord. Let the thought come and go. If there is a real problem to solve, deal with it when action is needed. If there is nothing useful to do right now, allow the moment to remain ordinary. It's okay if you spend an evening with just tea or just coffee. It just doesn't make any problem.

This takes practice. Of course, at first your mind may continue producing worries. That is totally fine. The purpose is not to force every thought to disappear. The purpose is to stop treating every thought as something that deserves your immediate attention.

Finally, remember three things. First, do not assume something is wrong simply because you feel restless during a peaceful period. Sometimes your mind is just accustomed to searching for problems. Recognize this. Recognizing this can help you respond without creating another problem around your restlessness. To know the cause of pain is already to loosen its grip. It's very important if we see that. Second, give your day a meaningful direction. Choose something that challenges you without overwhelming you. Learn an instrument—like me, I learn piano. I learn flute or guitar or some other Greek instrument. Develop your work, exercise, and read something worthwhile, or build something that matters to you. The best problem is the one just a little taller than you. Third, spend a little time doing nothing. It's very important. Put your phone aside. Sit quietly for 5 minutes or 10 minutes. You do not need to manufacture special experiences like an idiot. Don't be childish, expecting some spiritual experiences to come from God consciousness, that consciousness, this consciousness. Don't be childish. Grow up from all these experiences. Let your thoughts appear without following every one of them. Stillness is not the death of thought. It is thought finally at ease.

Look, the mind is useful. It helps us understand situations, solve problems, and make decisions. We do not need to hate it or fight against it. We simply need to understand what it does—not what it—sorry—what it does—and learn when it's actively useful. When a real problem appears, respond to it. When a meaningful challenge is available, engage with it. But when nothing requires your attention, you do not have to invent an emergency. Calm is not the end of the journey. It is a clear road on which you must still choose to walk. You have probably spent years trying to arrange your life so that nothing disturbs you. That's so pathetic. Perhaps the next step is to stop expecting life to remain perfectly arranged. There will be uncertainties. There will be difficult days. There will also be afternoons where nothing remarkable happens, and evenings where there is only your tea and nothing to worry about. Let those moments exist without turning them into problems. Lead the mind, or it will lead you especially astray. And remember, the goal is not a life without problems, but a life with problems worth having. Let the mind hunt, only choose the forest. That's what you all have to do. And enough with the entertainment.

Now coming to the main message. You see, you're not this mind, body, and all these things. You are the unblemished awareness which is the origin of all origins. It is on you that this world is appearing and disappearing like a mirage. You are the pure awareness and nothing else. You are already liberated. To think that you are this body and mind is your sin. To think that you are this pathetic human being who needs spirituality, gurus, organizations, ashrams, rituals, retreats, spiritual texts, holy texts, blessings, grace, is your pathetic mind trying to eat a candy. You are like the king and queen who have the entire kingdom for themselves but are begging for a few coins that have fallen down on the road. That is spirituality. You are already divine. You're already the awareness. It is on you that the entire drama is happening. Now this can be understood not by listening to me, not by mailing me, not by reading things about me, not by watching my videos, not by meeting me at home. This can be understood only when you turn your mind within and see things for yourself. Then you will also come to the same conclusion that I have come to. So to say, I have come to. But in truth, there is only the truth. There is no knower of the truth. There is only the desiring and no desire. There is only the doing and no doer. There is only the acting and no actor. There is only the awareness. There is only the self-aware reality appearing and disappearing as what is known. And you are that on which the ability to know happens.

Ultimately, I will conclude my speech by saying that follow the message, not the messenger. You are the self-aware reality which is the stratum of all, whether you like it or not, or believe it or not. Thank you.