I Don't Deal With Negative People, and Here's Why

People ask me how do I deal with the negative people or negative comments? And the answer is very simple. I do not. If it is negative, why deal with it in the first place? Are you seeing what I'm saying?

They ask me as if I have some secret technique to avoid people or something like that. They think maybe I have learned to argue better, or maybe I've learned how to stay calm during someone insults you, and so on and so on. But the secret is very simple. If it is negative, do not deal with it. It's as simple as that. That is the truth. I do not deal with them.

And I think this is something we misunderstand about wisdom. We think wisdom means knowing how to deal with every kind of person. But wisdom is knowing whom not to deal with, or what not to deal with. Because think about it, if someone brings negativity into your life, why are you automatically accepting the invitation?

There are some people who comment bad stuffs in my videos. But who cares? That should be applied to our life also. Whether you are God or devil, this world will always throw its tantrums towards you. And those who care don't bother. And those who bother don't care. It's as simple as that. There's nothing great about it.

You see, let's say someone throws a stone into a pond. The pond does not chase the stone, right? It simply lets the stone sink into it. But somehow, as human beings, we see one negative comment and immediately become detectives. Why did they say this? Or what did they mean? Why are people like this to me when I have good intentions? Or why do they hate me? What should I reply? And so on and so on, right?

And now one sentence written by a stranger has occupied our entire evening. That is the funny part. The person who wrote the comment may have spent 10 seconds writing it. We spent 2 hours emotionally producing the director's cut. And that is not dealing with negativity. That is volunteering for it. Are you seeing what I'm saying?

And this is where the whole thing becomes interesting. We usually think our problem is negative people. But very often, the deeper problem is our belief that everything deserves our attention. Why should anything in this world deserve your attention other than peace? You tell me. Other than our peace of mind, other than our beloved, why on this world anything else should matter? If anything else matters, you have fooled yourself. That is the mistake.

Everything does not deserve your attention. Everything does not deserve an explanation. Everything does not deserve a response. And everything certainly does not deserve access to your peace. This is the truth.

Imagine that you're sitting peacefully at home. Someone knocks on your door. You open it. The person is angry. They are shouting at you. They are complaining and so on and so on. And they are insulting you. And you simply say, "I do not want this conversation." And you close the door. Right? It's as simple as that.

You don't invite them and say, "Hey, no, no, no. Jesus Christ told this. Lord Krishna told this. Buddha told this. J. Krishnamurthy told this. Osho told this. Ramana Maharishi told this." You don't sit and discuss those pathetic stuff with those people, right? Someone knocks on your door with the same negativity, you just shut it down. It's as simple as that. Do not entertain negativity in your life. Peace will naturally follow you, or peace will naturally be there with you.

But imagine if you invite them inside, you give them tea, you sit down, you talk for what Jesus meant or what Krishna meant or what that fellow meant or this fellow, and so on and so on. Now what happens? You become angry at the end. Then you explain yourself. Then you argue. Then you go to bed thinking about what they said and why people are like this. Who created the three-hour problem here? It is you. Yes, they bought the negativity, but you gave it a chair in your head. You gave it a room. You gave it your evening, and so on and so on.

And sometimes we do exactly this with people. We give strangers permanent residence inside our mind. So what if they don't understand your philosophy? It's okay. So what if they look at your value system and make fun of it? Who cares?

You see, that is the absurd part. Someone can live thousands of kilometers away and still control your mood before breakfast because you do not focus on yourself. I keep saying, a flower that focuses on blooming attracts bees, but a flower that focuses on attracting will end up with house flies. So it is important to focus on yourself, your path, and move forward. You don't care for what these silly, pathetic people comment on you, or in your life, or anything for that matter.

And let me tell you something, man. Whoever walks this path of reality will always be scolded, will always be condemned, will always be ridiculed, will always be looked down upon. But who cares? This is something that you all have to keep in your mind. If you're good, you have to accept the fate of being good. You'll always be misunderstood. That is the price of being good in this world. You'll always be condemned. You'll always be looked down as an idiot. For a materialistic person, a spiritual person is stupid. And for a spiritual person, a materialistic person is stupid. That's how it has always been.

So accept your fate, and it is important to keep in your mind that those who bother you should not—you should not care, and whom you care should not be bothered. Are you seeing what I'm seeing? It is you who is carrying all these things within yourself.

This is why I think peace requires something more intelligent than positivity. It requires selection. You have to decide what enters. Because life is already difficult enough. You have bills, you have family, you have responsibility, uncertainty, relationships, work, and so on and so on, right? You have so many things to deal with. And then, on top of all that, we voluntarily add the opinions of somebody who does not even know us. Why? Why are we like that? Because we have confused being available with being wise.

We think if somebody says something about us, we have to answer. No. A mosquito is also making a statement when it flies around your ear, right? You do not call a meeting to understand its position. You simply move on. And I know that sounds funny, but there's a serious truth behind it. Not every disturbance deserves investigation. Some disturbance deserves distance.

Now, this does not mean that every criticism is negative. That distinction is extremely important. You see, if someone tells me, "You made a mistake here," I can listen. Maybe they are right. If someone says, "Your argument does not make sense, and let us examine," I can examine it. Maybe there is something I have missed. If someone genuinely wants to help me improve, there is value in listening. Wisdom is not becoming so peaceful that you become stupid. You should be able to receive correction.

But there is a difference between criticism and negativity. Criticism says, "This thing could be better." Negativity often says, "You are worthless." Criticism points towards something. Negativity simply throws something at you. One gives you information, the other often wants a reaction. That is why it is important to just focus on your life, focus on your system, focus on your value, and just move forward. Do not care what people say. Do not care what others say at all.